For those that might not know, Jason and I (and the kids of course) will be embarking on a great adventure! We'll officially be on the road starting July 1st pulling a travel trailer behind our Suburban. Before that, we will be traveling to other locations that Merrell is sponsoring by plane.
My last day at work was last Friday. It was a bittersweet day because I left the school year 6 weeks early and have had some awesome students this year. Jason will be finished on June 10th. Initially I thought I would be able to finish the school year out but with just a few months left and having some commitments in the coming months, I felt I was running out of time and being pulled in too many directions, thus, my decision to leave early.
I'll be staying home and getting ready in preparation of our travels that will take us all over the U.S. For a complete list, click here. Reasons we decided to make such a dramatic change as Jason listed so well are here.
We will be home schooling both kids. Ava will be in first grade, Reese in kindergarten. I figure how badly can I mess up first grade? When we told the kids we would be their teachers they had a lot of questions. Since my daughter has already been in school for 2 years, she asked things like "Do we have to call you Mrs. Robillard?".....why, yes! "Do we have to raise our hands?"...of course! and other questions about calendars and centers.
People asked if we're scared and my answer would be no, just incredibly excited to start our adventures on the road. I know there will be good days and crazy days and days I want to pull may hair out I'm sure but I'm excited to see the world through our kids eyes and travel to places I have never seen.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Year Later....
Last week I ran 17.2 miles on roads and the following weekend 21 miles on roads, some stairs and trails. It seems odd to me that just a year ago I completed my first ever 20 mile run and now I’ve become a running junkie.
Some of my best thoughts come to me while I’m running. It seems I can sort out any issues, frustrations, happy feelings or problems I might be having all with a simple run. My mind opens, my thoughts are clear and I am able to focus more completely. So on my last run, I thought about that first 20 mile run.
I remember how grueling it was, how tired my legs were and how with every ounce of my body I wanted to stop. To compare, I thought about my 17.2 mile run on roads and it seemed strangely easy to me. I never would have thought that running that distance would become easy. Admittedly, it’s not a fast 17.2 miles by any means but I’ve never been fast. And running for me has never been about speed. While I like getting faster it’s not my ultimate goal. For me running is my time to think, my therapy to sort the crowded thoughts in my mind and the lift that I need to be sane at times when I am feeling like I'm coming unglued.
My 21 mile run was more difficult because I ran on trails and stairs along with roads but nothing compared to that first 20 mile run. I will take more difficulty any day though when it comes to trails because while they can be more tiring physically, mentally they are good for my soul. I can always count on trails to bring out inner child by running down the hills faster and speeding up just for fun.
Lastly, I thought about why I was running long distances in the first place and last year my motivation was preparing for a 12 hour timed race in Rochester, NY. I will be running at Mind the Duck’s again this year and I am really looking forward to it. Last year it seemed unfathomable to continue to move for 12 hours but this year I will head into the race knowing what I'm capable and hopefully pushing myself even more!
I am so excited about meeting friends I have only chatted with online at this event. We will have our “Michigan Crew” headed out to Rochester, NY in less than a month! Can't wait!
Some of my best thoughts come to me while I’m running. It seems I can sort out any issues, frustrations, happy feelings or problems I might be having all with a simple run. My mind opens, my thoughts are clear and I am able to focus more completely. So on my last run, I thought about that first 20 mile run.
I remember how grueling it was, how tired my legs were and how with every ounce of my body I wanted to stop. To compare, I thought about my 17.2 mile run on roads and it seemed strangely easy to me. I never would have thought that running that distance would become easy. Admittedly, it’s not a fast 17.2 miles by any means but I’ve never been fast. And running for me has never been about speed. While I like getting faster it’s not my ultimate goal. For me running is my time to think, my therapy to sort the crowded thoughts in my mind and the lift that I need to be sane at times when I am feeling like I'm coming unglued.
My 21 mile run was more difficult because I ran on trails and stairs along with roads but nothing compared to that first 20 mile run. I will take more difficulty any day though when it comes to trails because while they can be more tiring physically, mentally they are good for my soul. I can always count on trails to bring out inner child by running down the hills faster and speeding up just for fun.
Lastly, I thought about why I was running long distances in the first place and last year my motivation was preparing for a 12 hour timed race in Rochester, NY. I will be running at Mind the Duck’s again this year and I am really looking forward to it. Last year it seemed unfathomable to continue to move for 12 hours but this year I will head into the race knowing what I'm capable and hopefully pushing myself even more!
I am so excited about meeting friends I have only chatted with online at this event. We will have our “Michigan Crew” headed out to Rochester, NY in less than a month! Can't wait!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Living like there's no tomorrow
The other day, Jason fainted. He came back from a whirlwind trip in order to pick our Suburban we will be using for our RV travels. He flew out to Massachusetts and drove back the next day (14+ hours) and stopped to run Bear Mountain State Park in New York in between with our friend, Jesse. His diet during the trip wasn't the best since he was traveling and running in new terrain. I'm sure it took more out of him.
When he got back the next day around late afternoon he said he didn't feel well. I told him to lay down and he slept for the next 3 or 4 hours. He came upstairs and sat in the chair. He didn't look good so I told him to go back downstairs. It was noisy upstairs with our 3 kids and my nephew Cody (who is 11) was also there. As I finished that sentence, Jason's eyes rolled back but this eyes were still open. Everything slowed down as it tends to in high stress situations.
I was yelling his name at the same time asking what I should do and trying to maintain some semblance of calm for the kids. He clearly wasn't responding so I punched in 911. I could hear my nephew in the background yelling "Call the cops!". At that moment I looked at Jason and saw sweat was oozing out of every one of his pores. I looked at the back of his hands and I could see the water dripping out. I looked at his feet and saw the same thing. I was checking for a pulse, not sure if I should move him to the ground or not but he was still breathing. Whoo! That was good.
The kids were running around like nothing was happening. Our youngest (almost 2) was trying to climb on Jason's lap. Kids are great distractions aren't they?
As I looked down at the phone wondering why someone hadn't answered I realized in my panicky state I didn't press the SEND button. Cell phones! But at that moment, Jason's eyes opened and he was began responding to me.
I still wasn't sure if I should take him to the hospital but I decided I would take his temperature, give him Tylenol and try to rehydrate him. My guess was he was severely dehydrated from traveling, running and then the flu.
I mixed up some nuun and told him to drink, drink, drink! He had the nerve to complain that he liked Heed better! Here I am having a panic attack and he's being choosy about his drink : )
Long story short, he was fine though he did give me a good scare. Sometimes people will tell me "Savor life, you don't know what will happen." or variations of that same saying. I get a little annoyed because they assume I don't already. I know that life can change in the blink of an eye. You think you are set on one path in life and in an instant it can be changed. I have suffered losses and never take life for granted. One of the reasons I run and try to eat healthy is so that I can give myself the best chance at being here for my kids.
High School Photo
When he was 39 after multiple MRI's he opted for surgery. At the time, it looked like the doctors would have a good chance at removing the tumor based on MRI's that were taken. After surgery, he was told they weren't able to remove all of the tumor since it was in connected to more tissue than they originally thought. Half of his head was shaved and one of the funniest stories was when he told me into a store and everyone kept looking at him. He figured it was because his head was shaved or that he was must have been so good looking but later realized he had the plugs from the surgery, 6 in total, still attached to his head.
Walt at age 19 & Sandy who was pregnant with their son
I don't remember exactly how long after the surgery until his death but I think it was around 9 months if I were to guess. Despite his healthy diet and exercise, his health was continuing to decline. It seems after the surgery, something happened or changed. Any surgery is a risk so I don't know if it was the toll of surgery or what exactly happened. I do remember the exact day I knew my brother was going to die.
We were sitting on his deck and I could feel the warm breeze of an unusually warm spring day. The sky was blue and the clouds were round and fat. I was sitting there with my brother reminiscing about our times together. And even though he was 11 years older I still have vivid memories. As we were sitting there talking, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. He attempted to get up but was too weak. I helped him walk to the bathroom and he asked if I could help him to the bathroom. I didn't realize until this point just how weak he was and how quickly his body was shutting down on him. I wept silent tears and helped him.
It was only about a month later and he passed away. So many thoughts passed through my head when he died.
He left behind 2 beautiful kids, ages 14 and 21 and his wife. His 14 year old daughter was left at a very vulnerable time in a young girl's life. I was angry that my own father who isn't involved in my life, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish was left and my brother taken.
Walt, Sandy (wife), Scott (son) & Sam (daughter)
My brother died at a time I was most happy. I had left one unhappy marriage and quickly remarried Jason and was pregnant with Ava. I was about 5 months along at the time. I made a decision to stop going through the motions and really start living by leaving that marriage. While it was difficult I'm sure for my family to understand why I wasn't happy with my first husband and it must have seemed like I was jumping from one relationship to the next, I knew in my heart it was the change I needed.
While I can't begin to understand all of the why's, I instead try to remember the times I had with my brother. One of my first memories was a birthday card he gave me when I was 5. It was beautiful, silky, pink and glossy. I remember thinking it was the fanciest card anyone had ever given me. Inside he wrote "I still owe you that $2"....I still have that card and I don't believe I ever got that $2 :)
He also would take me for rides on his motorcycle when I was around age 5 . When I think about my own daughter riding on a bike at that age, it freaks me out, but I fondly remember going all over with him. On the highway, across bridges and around our house.
My brother was a handsome guy!
I remember our road trip to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. It was about a 7 hour ride and he got tired of driving so he told me to drive. The only problem was he was driving a stick and I was 15. My mom had tried teaching me how to drive a stick but her teaching style wasn't the easiest to follow (yelling, making me nervous, grabbing the wheel to save us from going in a ditch) so needless to say I was nervous. He told me I would be fine so I tried it.
I drove for I don't know how many miles and we came to the Mackinac bridge. I told him maybe he should drive across because I was deathly afraid of bridges and this was 5 miles long and my first time finally getting the hang of driving. "You'll be fine" he told me so I dug deep, looked straight ahead and made it with flying colors. At the end of the trip when you start getting so tired that you're a little loopy I remember singing songs at the top of our lungs and laughing about nothing.
Lastly, I remember sky diving with his when I was 20. We both decided we wanted to try it so we took the required class and jumped out of the plane. We did static line jumping which means we were going by ourselves and had to climb out on the wing of the plane before letting go and deploying the parachute. He didn't even laugh (ok, he didn't laugh too much) while I practiced landing. Instead of jumping onto a mattress feet first I somehow managed to screw up the directions and did a flip somersault which shook the whole room and kind of hurt my back. Luckily, I landed normally when the real thing happened.
So it's these memories and others that I will always cherish. I miss him greatly and am sad that such a good life was taken away so early. I have a hard time sharing these feelings aloud and writing about is truly therapeutic.
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean
I was yelling his name at the same time asking what I should do and trying to maintain some semblance of calm for the kids. He clearly wasn't responding so I punched in 911. I could hear my nephew in the background yelling "Call the cops!". At that moment I looked at Jason and saw sweat was oozing out of every one of his pores. I looked at the back of his hands and I could see the water dripping out. I looked at his feet and saw the same thing. I was checking for a pulse, not sure if I should move him to the ground or not but he was still breathing. Whoo! That was good.
The kids were running around like nothing was happening. Our youngest (almost 2) was trying to climb on Jason's lap. Kids are great distractions aren't they?
As I looked down at the phone wondering why someone hadn't answered I realized in my panicky state I didn't press the SEND button. Cell phones! But at that moment, Jason's eyes opened and he was began responding to me.
I still wasn't sure if I should take him to the hospital but I decided I would take his temperature, give him Tylenol and try to rehydrate him. My guess was he was severely dehydrated from traveling, running and then the flu.
I mixed up some nuun and told him to drink, drink, drink! He had the nerve to complain that he liked Heed better! Here I am having a panic attack and he's being choosy about his drink : )
Long story short, he was fine though he did give me a good scare. Sometimes people will tell me "Savor life, you don't know what will happen." or variations of that same saying. I get a little annoyed because they assume I don't already. I know that life can change in the blink of an eye. You think you are set on one path in life and in an instant it can be changed. I have suffered losses and never take life for granted. One of the reasons I run and try to eat healthy is so that I can give myself the best chance at being here for my kids.
I lost my brother, Walt (who was 39 at the time) to brain cancer. This is one of the biggest losses I have suffered. He was first diagnosed at age 33. They determined the tumor in his brain was in a place they weren't comfortable operating on so he decided to live with it. He didn't want to put his body through chemo so he opted for radiation instead. He radically changed his diet and ate fruits, veggies and no meat. He started exercising and was living a pretty healthy life despite his tumor.
High School PhotoWhen he was 39 after multiple MRI's he opted for surgery. At the time, it looked like the doctors would have a good chance at removing the tumor based on MRI's that were taken. After surgery, he was told they weren't able to remove all of the tumor since it was in connected to more tissue than they originally thought. Half of his head was shaved and one of the funniest stories was when he told me into a store and everyone kept looking at him. He figured it was because his head was shaved or that he was must have been so good looking but later realized he had the plugs from the surgery, 6 in total, still attached to his head.
Walt at age 19 & Sandy who was pregnant with their sonI don't remember exactly how long after the surgery until his death but I think it was around 9 months if I were to guess. Despite his healthy diet and exercise, his health was continuing to decline. It seems after the surgery, something happened or changed. Any surgery is a risk so I don't know if it was the toll of surgery or what exactly happened. I do remember the exact day I knew my brother was going to die.
We were sitting on his deck and I could feel the warm breeze of an unusually warm spring day. The sky was blue and the clouds were round and fat. I was sitting there with my brother reminiscing about our times together. And even though he was 11 years older I still have vivid memories. As we were sitting there talking, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. He attempted to get up but was too weak. I helped him walk to the bathroom and he asked if I could help him to the bathroom. I didn't realize until this point just how weak he was and how quickly his body was shutting down on him. I wept silent tears and helped him.
It was only about a month later and he passed away. So many thoughts passed through my head when he died.
He left behind 2 beautiful kids, ages 14 and 21 and his wife. His 14 year old daughter was left at a very vulnerable time in a young girl's life. I was angry that my own father who isn't involved in my life, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish was left and my brother taken.
Walt, Sandy (wife), Scott (son) & Sam (daughter)My brother died at a time I was most happy. I had left one unhappy marriage and quickly remarried Jason and was pregnant with Ava. I was about 5 months along at the time. I made a decision to stop going through the motions and really start living by leaving that marriage. While it was difficult I'm sure for my family to understand why I wasn't happy with my first husband and it must have seemed like I was jumping from one relationship to the next, I knew in my heart it was the change I needed.
While I can't begin to understand all of the why's, I instead try to remember the times I had with my brother. One of my first memories was a birthday card he gave me when I was 5. It was beautiful, silky, pink and glossy. I remember thinking it was the fanciest card anyone had ever given me. Inside he wrote "I still owe you that $2"....I still have that card and I don't believe I ever got that $2 :)
He also would take me for rides on his motorcycle when I was around age 5 . When I think about my own daughter riding on a bike at that age, it freaks me out, but I fondly remember going all over with him. On the highway, across bridges and around our house.
My brother was a handsome guy!I remember our road trip to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. It was about a 7 hour ride and he got tired of driving so he told me to drive. The only problem was he was driving a stick and I was 15. My mom had tried teaching me how to drive a stick but her teaching style wasn't the easiest to follow (yelling, making me nervous, grabbing the wheel to save us from going in a ditch) so needless to say I was nervous. He told me I would be fine so I tried it.
I drove for I don't know how many miles and we came to the Mackinac bridge. I told him maybe he should drive across because I was deathly afraid of bridges and this was 5 miles long and my first time finally getting the hang of driving. "You'll be fine" he told me so I dug deep, looked straight ahead and made it with flying colors. At the end of the trip when you start getting so tired that you're a little loopy I remember singing songs at the top of our lungs and laughing about nothing.
Lastly, I remember sky diving with his when I was 20. We both decided we wanted to try it so we took the required class and jumped out of the plane. We did static line jumping which means we were going by ourselves and had to climb out on the wing of the plane before letting go and deploying the parachute. He didn't even laugh (ok, he didn't laugh too much) while I practiced landing. Instead of jumping onto a mattress feet first I somehow managed to screw up the directions and did a flip somersault which shook the whole room and kind of hurt my back. Luckily, I landed normally when the real thing happened.
So it's these memories and others that I will always cherish. I miss him greatly and am sad that such a good life was taken away so early. I have a hard time sharing these feelings aloud and writing about is truly therapeutic.
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean
Monday, April 4, 2011
Cleaning out the cuboards
Both literally and figuratively I've been on a cleaning spree. Maybe not cleaning so much as getting rid of excess clutter. I actually despise cleaning. People ask me how I work, have 3 kids and still manage to run so much. The truth is I avoid housework like the plague. It's not on my list of priorities and luckily it doesn't bother Jason either.
We are having a huge garage sale to get rid of some of our bigger items and things we no longer use. We are heading out this summer for an RV adventure around the United States and this is a good time to get rid of things while we are both on break.
The mental cleaning I have done is to assess my relationships and what they mean to me. I have had some unexpected changes on that front but in the end I have come to terms with it. I cannot change who I am for someone else just like I cannot change others. My only hope is that I will always be myself and those that remain my friends accept me for who I am rather than who they want me to be. It's sometimes a very sad realization for me but ultimately through growth I know I will be the most happy.
A few sidenotes:
* I met Anton Krupicka through a local running store. Our group of friends had our picture taken with him. He was a very laid back, nice guy. Everyone from my group seemed a little shy to ask him for a picture so having no boundaries or stalkerish tendencies I went up and asked.
* We traveled to visit Jason's family over the weekend and the older my kids get the better they travel. Obviously, we will be traveling a lot in the near future so it gives me hope for the day to day things we will need to be doing. On our trip Ava said "Mom, look at that valley. That would be a good thing to draw." She is so artistic and views the world through an artful eye. She does not get that from me but it's so fun to see the world through her eyes.
* Last weekend I ran a 15k with a lot of hills. I beat my PR from last summer's 15k with a finish of 1:28 and some change. It's early in the running season for me so that was a cool milestone to hit, especially given the hilly terrain. The following day I completed my second indoor tri. I didn't place in my age group this time but beat my swim time from the first time. However, I was much slower in the bike and run portion. Running the 15k the day before probably wasn't the best choice but I had talked one of my students into running the 15k so I wanted to be there to cheer him on as well as run. I told him if his "old teacher" can run a 15k surely it would be a piece of cake for him : ) He finished 20th overall male!
*Jason is flying to Massachusetts to pick up a Suburban for our RV adventures. Jesse is also going with him to keep him company on the 14+ hour ride home. They are going to break up the trip by finding some trails to run along the way. Of course, I am very jealous and told him he better come home!!! I'm really grateful he will have company along the way for such a long drive.
We are having a huge garage sale to get rid of some of our bigger items and things we no longer use. We are heading out this summer for an RV adventure around the United States and this is a good time to get rid of things while we are both on break.
The mental cleaning I have done is to assess my relationships and what they mean to me. I have had some unexpected changes on that front but in the end I have come to terms with it. I cannot change who I am for someone else just like I cannot change others. My only hope is that I will always be myself and those that remain my friends accept me for who I am rather than who they want me to be. It's sometimes a very sad realization for me but ultimately through growth I know I will be the most happy.
A few sidenotes:
* I met Anton Krupicka through a local running store. Our group of friends had our picture taken with him. He was a very laid back, nice guy. Everyone from my group seemed a little shy to ask him for a picture so having no boundaries or stalkerish tendencies I went up and asked.
* We traveled to visit Jason's family over the weekend and the older my kids get the better they travel. Obviously, we will be traveling a lot in the near future so it gives me hope for the day to day things we will need to be doing. On our trip Ava said "Mom, look at that valley. That would be a good thing to draw." She is so artistic and views the world through an artful eye. She does not get that from me but it's so fun to see the world through her eyes.
* Last weekend I ran a 15k with a lot of hills. I beat my PR from last summer's 15k with a finish of 1:28 and some change. It's early in the running season for me so that was a cool milestone to hit, especially given the hilly terrain. The following day I completed my second indoor tri. I didn't place in my age group this time but beat my swim time from the first time. However, I was much slower in the bike and run portion. Running the 15k the day before probably wasn't the best choice but I had talked one of my students into running the 15k so I wanted to be there to cheer him on as well as run. I told him if his "old teacher" can run a 15k surely it would be a piece of cake for him : ) He finished 20th overall male!
*Jason is flying to Massachusetts to pick up a Suburban for our RV adventures. Jesse is also going with him to keep him company on the 14+ hour ride home. They are going to break up the trip by finding some trails to run along the way. Of course, I am very jealous and told him he better come home!!! I'm really grateful he will have company along the way for such a long drive.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Quiet Reflection
As I continue to try and figure out my own thoughts and feelings, I find one bit of me very hard to change. It’s still a work in progress. It doesn't really matter how it came to be but ultimately I want to change it.
What it boils down to is I am stubborn and if I feel I am “right” about something I go to great lengths to prove that point. I’m getting better at letting some things go and recognizing that it doesn’t matter if I am right or not, it’s about what that means to me.
I was on a run with my favorite running partner discussing a situation I was having difficulty with. I felt like I was the person in the “right” and the other was in the “wrong”. I struggled with trying to prove this (however you prove that) and she said the most wonderful thing that gave me pause. She said “if that’s what they need to move on then so be it”.
Instead of fighting and proving myself I decided to just let it all go. What does it matter if I am right. Clearly, that wasn’t bringing me any peace about this situation. I decided to take her advice and let it go. It was a strange moment of clarity for me.
In my 20s I would fight and argue and not back down about being right. To the point where I lost friendships. I wasn’t going to back down because that’s what you did when you were right. You stood up for yourself….or so I thought.
In my 30s I tried to understand why being right was so important to me. I think I got lost in the moment instead of looking at the bigger picture. It doesn’t matter if I’m right about something and sometimes I will think I’m right and realize I was wrong. What really matters is how I deal with situations and how I let them affect me.
So instead of trying to prove myself I am trying to let those moments pass. I can’t tell you what huge difference this has made for me. I feel lighter and stronger. I’m channeling what would be anger into more useful thoughts and feelings.
With those closest to me (insert husband) it’s still a struggle but I think recognizing it and reflecting on my own behaviors will eventually lead me to the right choices.
What it boils down to is I am stubborn and if I feel I am “right” about something I go to great lengths to prove that point. I’m getting better at letting some things go and recognizing that it doesn’t matter if I am right or not, it’s about what that means to me.
I was on a run with my favorite running partner discussing a situation I was having difficulty with. I felt like I was the person in the “right” and the other was in the “wrong”. I struggled with trying to prove this (however you prove that) and she said the most wonderful thing that gave me pause. She said “if that’s what they need to move on then so be it”.
Instead of fighting and proving myself I decided to just let it all go. What does it matter if I am right. Clearly, that wasn’t bringing me any peace about this situation. I decided to take her advice and let it go. It was a strange moment of clarity for me.
In my 20s I would fight and argue and not back down about being right. To the point where I lost friendships. I wasn’t going to back down because that’s what you did when you were right. You stood up for yourself….or so I thought.
In my 30s I tried to understand why being right was so important to me. I think I got lost in the moment instead of looking at the bigger picture. It doesn’t matter if I’m right about something and sometimes I will think I’m right and realize I was wrong. What really matters is how I deal with situations and how I let them affect me.
So instead of trying to prove myself I am trying to let those moments pass. I can’t tell you what huge difference this has made for me. I feel lighter and stronger. I’m channeling what would be anger into more useful thoughts and feelings.
With those closest to me (insert husband) it’s still a struggle but I think recognizing it and reflecting on my own behaviors will eventually lead me to the right choices.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Highlights!
No, not for my hair but for the week. Although I did recently get highlights after a year of dry, thinning hair I think my hair is finally back on track. Since removing my thyroid I lost handfuls of hair, researched and stopped using sulfate shampoos & conditioners and I'm taking my B vitamins. I finally feel like it's back to normal. It's surprising what a huge difference switching just my shampoo has made for my hair. I never would have realized how just how damaging sulfates could be. I made the switch about 3 or 4 months ago and now I'm noticing it seems to be becoming more and more popular and have some products marketed specifically for sulfate-free (at least in my area that is usually behind on new products).
Another highlight! My beloved hills are clear and free to run again! I was so excited to run a sandhill and paved route (.75 miles per loop long) that I probably over did it after not running it for months. I ran 3 loops (2.25 miles). I was slow and sluggish but having the sun out and feeling it's warmth made all the difference! I was sore (and still sore) 5 days later. I went back to run more loops and only managed 2. Sometimes I find using the same muscles loosens them up but I which it did but my quads felt a little fried so I'll give myself a little more time in between I guess. Jason took some great photos - he makes me feel like a professional. He's been quite the photographer and took all these pictures manually, he even used the manual focus. (We're dabbling in photography but his skills are greatly surpassing mine!)
Other highlight includes booking a trip to Boulder, CO in June! It will be Jason and myself and my two older kids (age 5 & 6 at the time we'll be traveling) and my niece (19). I found a cabin with trails located nearby and it will be my kids (and niece's) first time flying. My youngest (2) will stay home for this one but we'll have the summer for our RV adventures and traveling time together shortly after this trip. We're headed to Boulder for the Naked Foot 5k and most likely Jason will be hosting a clinic. As luck would have it, our awesome friend, Jesse will also be there. I'm sooo looking forward to running trails together. I have traveled quite a few places but never to Colorado.
Lastly, the trails are clearing up! While I've been running them off and on throughout the winter today was the first trail run where I see signs of spring. It was fun to splash through the mud and only see handfuls of snow and ice. There's nothing like running through the woods and it's all the better when I'm not plodding through snow or worried about falling on ice. I could do with a little warmer temps but at least the snow is mostly gone!
Another highlight! My beloved hills are clear and free to run again! I was so excited to run a sandhill and paved route (.75 miles per loop long) that I probably over did it after not running it for months. I ran 3 loops (2.25 miles). I was slow and sluggish but having the sun out and feeling it's warmth made all the difference! I was sore (and still sore) 5 days later. I went back to run more loops and only managed 2. Sometimes I find using the same muscles loosens them up but I which it did but my quads felt a little fried so I'll give myself a little more time in between I guess. Jason took some great photos - he makes me feel like a professional. He's been quite the photographer and took all these pictures manually, he even used the manual focus. (We're dabbling in photography but his skills are greatly surpassing mine!)
Other highlight includes booking a trip to Boulder, CO in June! It will be Jason and myself and my two older kids (age 5 & 6 at the time we'll be traveling) and my niece (19). I found a cabin with trails located nearby and it will be my kids (and niece's) first time flying. My youngest (2) will stay home for this one but we'll have the summer for our RV adventures and traveling time together shortly after this trip. We're headed to Boulder for the Naked Foot 5k and most likely Jason will be hosting a clinic. As luck would have it, our awesome friend, Jesse will also be there. I'm sooo looking forward to running trails together. I have traveled quite a few places but never to Colorado.
Lastly, the trails are clearing up! While I've been running them off and on throughout the winter today was the first trail run where I see signs of spring. It was fun to splash through the mud and only see handfuls of snow and ice. There's nothing like running through the woods and it's all the better when I'm not plodding through snow or worried about falling on ice. I could do with a little warmer temps but at least the snow is mostly gone!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Shaken Memories
The other day I was cleaning and as I clean I like to listen to a little music. I was feeling nostalgic so I put in Fleetwood Mac. I have an MP3 player but I still like listening to whole cd's. As I was cleaning away I couldn't help but get a little weepy. It's strange how something as simple as a song can sweep the cobwebs off a couple of memories.
Fleetwood Mac reminds me of my father. My father is an alcoholic with whom I don't have a relationship with. We talk civilly once or twice a year but it's usually when he wants something.
When I hear their songs it does take me back to what few good memories I have of my dad. They remind me of summer, cook outs, running as fast as you can, sunshine, playgrounds and everything you do as a kid on summer break. Usually, the time spent with my dad also involved alcohol of some type.
As a kid, you want to see your parents happy so you take whatever happiness you can find, even if you don't realize at the time that it is alcohol induced. I can remember Fleetwood Mac blaring from the stereo system and my dad singing along.
It's strange to realize that he was probably the same age or close to what I am now when I formed these memories. As a kid, 35 seems ancient but as I get older it seems the more connected to music I get. I remember thinking some adults used music to "seem cool" or were trying to act younger than they are but now I realize that music is a universal connection no matter what your age is.
But even though there are some "happier" memories these same memories remind me of a string of other alcohol related memories. During the summers I remember going to many bars as a kid. Back then I thought it was cool because it was a place that not many other kids were allowed to go until the time other liquored up men trying to hit on me. I remember putting beer into pop cans to disguise the fact that my dad was drinking at the park. I can also remember rolling cigarettes for my dad. He lived in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and cigarettes were expensive so rolling them was a much cheaper option. Now, I just realize the sadness of it, therefore, the feelings come as a result of listening to music.
So instead of ignoring the weepy feelings, I embrace them. I feel them. While it's uncomfortable it's ultimately a mourning of things lost. I long ago mourned the fact I have no father and the fact that my kids won't have that grandpa figure in their lives but those feelings shake loose every now and again.
Fleetwood Mac reminds me of my father. My father is an alcoholic with whom I don't have a relationship with. We talk civilly once or twice a year but it's usually when he wants something.
When I hear their songs it does take me back to what few good memories I have of my dad. They remind me of summer, cook outs, running as fast as you can, sunshine, playgrounds and everything you do as a kid on summer break. Usually, the time spent with my dad also involved alcohol of some type.
As a kid, you want to see your parents happy so you take whatever happiness you can find, even if you don't realize at the time that it is alcohol induced. I can remember Fleetwood Mac blaring from the stereo system and my dad singing along.
It's strange to realize that he was probably the same age or close to what I am now when I formed these memories. As a kid, 35 seems ancient but as I get older it seems the more connected to music I get. I remember thinking some adults used music to "seem cool" or were trying to act younger than they are but now I realize that music is a universal connection no matter what your age is.
But even though there are some "happier" memories these same memories remind me of a string of other alcohol related memories. During the summers I remember going to many bars as a kid. Back then I thought it was cool because it was a place that not many other kids were allowed to go until the time other liquored up men trying to hit on me. I remember putting beer into pop cans to disguise the fact that my dad was drinking at the park. I can also remember rolling cigarettes for my dad. He lived in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and cigarettes were expensive so rolling them was a much cheaper option. Now, I just realize the sadness of it, therefore, the feelings come as a result of listening to music.
So instead of ignoring the weepy feelings, I embrace them. I feel them. While it's uncomfortable it's ultimately a mourning of things lost. I long ago mourned the fact I have no father and the fact that my kids won't have that grandpa figure in their lives but those feelings shake loose every now and again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)