My First 50 Miler In the Books!

This was by far the toughest thing I have ever done. I used more mental mantras and pulled from a deep place I didn't know existed to get myself through to the finish line. I also, swear a lot in this post. In some compartments of my life I actually swear like a sailor and running 54 miles is one of them.

It all began when I toyed with the idea of signing up for the 50k and against better judgment....ok, lots of alcohol and the prodding of Jeremiah Cataldo (fellow Hobby Jogga), I signed up for the 50 mile race at Woodstock instead. The whole feel of the race and its participants is one of the coolest I have ever been too. There are events you can run in the buff, skinny dipping was happening on Saturday night at the pool, and at the finish of my race there was discarded clothing on the trail and giggling girls in the bushes.

The night before I watched and crewed a lap for Jesse who's race started at 4:00 p.m. After that, I hung out by the fire with my Hobby Joggas (misfit band of runners). I was tired from a poor night's sleep the night before so I went to bed around 9 pm.

I was awakened at 2 am by a group of overzealous dancers and drinkers. They were loud and annoying. I don't think they were running any long distance races the next day. So my plan to have a restful night didn't happen as I lay awake for 2 hours willing myself to sleep.

The plan was to wake up at 4 am for a 6 am start but I was so groggy I've done something I've never done for a race before....I hit snooze....several times. I finally got up around 5:20 and prepared for my run. I was camped within feet of the start so other than wanting to get the bathroom out of the way I had plenty of time to make it there.

I was eager to start and had heard the course was very muddy this year due to large amounts of rainfall. It had rained through the night and rained the first 2 hours of my race as well. Seventy four participants were signed up for the 50 miler.

The start line

We started in the dark and silly me forgot a headlamp. Luckily, I had several people offering me the use of their headlamps so I secured it and we were off! I ran the first couple of miles with Mark. He's too fast for me even if he is an old man :)

Very early the course was muddy. The type of mud that when you step in it, it almost takes your shoe off. I was loving it! Some people were trying to step around the big puddles of water and I heard a lady yell "You're going to get wet, you might as well embrace it!" How right she was!

The trail to the first aid station was filled with mud, knee deep water and lots of slipping and sliding. I amazingly didn't fall here, that happened later, but several people fell during this stretch.

At the first aid station I saw Jason, Jeremiah and Jesse waiting for me. Those guys are the best because it was wet and mosquito ridden. Seeing them at the aid stations even though I didn't need anything that early was the best part of my run by far.

I chatted with several ladies along the way. Most everyone I talked to was doing their first 50 mile race. It was still raining and throughout the trails you could hear "splish, splash" of peoples feet ahead and behind you. I was happy when it was light enough out to see the ground without the use of the headlamp because I was very worried about my clumsy self falling and seeing the ground was very helpful especially on the hills.

When you got to the few hills on the course they were very difficult to maneuver up. The muddy clay mixture made it very slippery so it was a matter of trying to hang on to trees while climbing up on the left or right side. Towards the top I had another runner extend their hand and help me up. Ultrarunners are the best! Many people fell and you would immediately hear someone ask "Are you ok? Do you need some help?" I've never met such a helpful bunch of runners.

I made it to the next aid station and didn't see my crew. It was still wet and raining so I thought maybe they decided to skip this one. The crew would have had to run a half mile into the woods to gain access to the aid station so I thought maybe between those two factors they decided to meet me at the next one instead. I found out later they missed me because I ran a little faster than they predicted.

I headed back into the woods and figured I would see them at the next one. I continued running and eventually got to a road. This is THE road that caused me swear at myself. I cannot remember if I was running with people at this point or not. I think I was but I can't say for sure. I saw a sign that pointed into the woods and one that pointed left. I didn't even pause or question the signs it's only something I thought about later when I found I went the wrong way. I was supposed to turn left but instead I jumped back into the woods.

As I was running that loop I thought I was seeing the same things twice like the pair of black gloves lying in the road, the fence on the right side, etc. I ran out of water and was concerned that I hadn't come to the next aid station. I didn't think the distance should have been this great between the two.

I knew I had made a mistake was when I got to the same aid station I had just left. I didn't even want to ask if I went the wrong way because that would make it true. I was joking the night before about my ability to get lost far too easily on the trails and I knew I was living up to that reputation. I finally asked the aid station volunteer who consulted his map and we figured out I didn't take my turn. I wouldn't save any distance backtracking so I went back into woods.

I figured I added around 5 miles to the course. Fuck! This race was going to be hard enough on me without adding any additional miles to it. I kind of shrugged it off and figured I would try to put it out of my mind. I would laugh about it later and try to just run my race.

I saw a fellow ultrarunner Ben (he came in 3rd overall! Speedy!) and he asked if I was on my second loop. I would be running 3 loops total. I told him "No, I took a wrong turn" but I was going to keep on going. I saw Mark shortly after that and he was on his second lap as well. I saw other runners I was keeping up with on the first lap but they were on their second laps. I was starting to get discouraged. I felt like I had been running this one loop forever and not seeing any progress. I couldn't tell myself that at leas I had 1 loop done because it didn't seem to end.

I started getting nauseous and dizzy. The Gatorade I took at the second aid station was not agreeing with me and I think the lack of water when I took the wrong turn was catching up to me. I finally made it to the last aid station of the loop and opted for water only. I had about 4 miles to the start/finish line.

The crowd was pretty thinned out at this point. I would see an occasional 100 miler running or a 50 miler passing me. There were multiple races happening over the weekend with different start times so I would eventually see the 50k runners on the course.

I started getting really depressed during this stretch and stopped running. I walked and contemplated what I was going to do. I did not feel good and I would have to run two additional 16.6 mile loops which sounded impossible to me at the time. I couldn't will myself to run and was considering dropping. I was mad at myself for taking a wrong turn and feeling like garbage. Maybe this wasn't my race. I was in a serious mind fuck.

I kept going and slogged through the biggest mud pit I've ever run through. I will admit, this part was fun even if I was in a bad funk. It was ankle deep mud that for me was impossible to run through. At the end of it (because it went on for a while) was a photographer waiting. He jokingly yelled out "I'm here...just in case you fall I can capture it on film!". Ha ha! I loved it! These will be the first race photos I purchase just to show how much fun the course could be.

I kept weighing my options over and over in my head. I wanted to drop like nothing else. The previous day Jesse had to tell the race officials he was dropping and said that was the worst part about dropping. I jokingly said "Yeah, it's kind of like breaking up. Nobody wants to actually say the words out loud". Did I want to say those words out loud? I wasn't injured so I felt like I couldn't. Did I feel nauseous enough to drop? Oh, the internal struggle!

As I was battling my own thoughts I saw two familiar figures! Jason & Jeremiah! Yay! I was so excited to see them. I told them about my wrong turn and as funny as it seems they had heard from Ben's mom who was crewing him and relayed that information to them. The running rumor mill is quick and very useful.

I told Jason I wasn't feeling well and heard crickets. Damn! He wasn't going to make this easy for me was he? I made a few other comments about not feeling well and going off course....again, more crickets.

Ok, you two! I know what game you're playing! I've played a hand or two myself you know but it's fun when I do it :)

So I made a deal with myself. I would go to the start/finish, change my shoes, eat and see how I felt. If I felt good I would continue on.

When I made it to the start/finish it was a huge boost to my well being. I heard several people shout my name and cheer me on. I changed my socks even though I knew they would get wet again it would be a small boost. I ate salted potatoes, m&m's and a Gu packet. Since I had laid off the Gatorade I was starting to feel better.

A little aid station pep talk

I told the guys I was heading out before I changed my mind. Off to the second loop! My mental strategy was to get through this loop by myself and I would get through the last loop with my pacer and BFF Jason :) I knew running with him I could get through it.

Mentally, I started feeling really good so I was running well. The mud and water was even more fun the second time around. I guess in one section the water went past knee level but that was as deep as it went for me. I would take a step and think it was ankle deep and surprise!

I saw another runner, Mark. I told him I was trying to decide if the consistency of the mud was more like chocolate pudding or oatmeal. It was thicker than pudding so maybe oatmeal. I got to the first aid station all smiles. I told Jeremiah I was really happy with my decision to continue on. I had my second wind and was going to finish.

At the second aid station I met an awesome ultra runner in person. Prior to this I've only interacted with Farra via Facebook. She is much cuter in person and the epitome of a cool chick!

I ate more salted potatoes, chips and Gu and was on my way. This was the third time I ran this particular section and I would have to run it once more to finish. I fell apart a little in this section and my running gait was off. When Jason saw me coming into the third aid station he later told me I was looking rough. I was feeling rough. I think going through that section reminded me of the additional miles and messed with my psyche.

All I had to do was get through this next section and I would be getting Jason to keep me company. It wasn't pretty but I powered through this section into the start/finish line. I saw lots of happy faces and cheering again.

Running into the start/finish....one loop to go!

I saw Ben and he ran a bit with me and filled me in on his finish. Mark had just finished the course and was waiting on the sidelines too. It was a little demoralizing knowing these guys were done and I still had one more loop to go. But it was my fault I took the wrong turn and I could never keep up with their speed regardless.

Muddy girl!

Jason told me about cutoff times and sadly it wasn't something I had even considered. I knew we had 16 hours to finish the race but I didn't think I would need that much time. With the additional miles I had added (which ended up being 4) I had to be aware of the time.

Headed out for my last lap!

I was anxious to show Jason the course and all its muddiness. I knew he would love it. It was tough physically but mentally I think it's what enabled me to finish. Without the mud and water, the course would have been relatively flat in regards to elevation and hills. The mud just made it fun!

The first half of the last loop I did pretty well running. I kept up a decent pace and was on track to finish within the cutoff. I told Jason to talk to me as a distraction and we also leap frogged the last loop with a couple finishing the 100 miler.

At the second aid station I was feeling rough. My body ached and my feet hurt. I sat down and said "I curse you Jeremiah Cataldo! You believed in me!" I had roughly 8 miles to go and I was going to need every ounce of mental strength I had.

Jason told me I was doing well mentally? I don't have anything to compare to. He said I wasn't in a perma-brain fog and was still thinking clearly which was meant to be a compliment but at the time I wasn't buying it. So what if I was fine mentally? I still fucking hurt...a lot!

I won't tell you all the things I said during this portion but let's just say I was not very good company. Jason was smart and either kept quiet or said the occasional "I know" and kept going. I kept waiting to get to the road to take my turn to mentally check off that part of the road but it was taking forever. The road was playing hide and seek on me. I didn't remember there being two clearings before the road and each time I excitedly thought it was my turn only to keep going.

Finally the road! I was hobbling at this point. Jesse had walked back part of the road and was trying to perk me up with jokes and stories but I was far inside my own head trying to will myself to move.

We made it to the final aid station and were still concerned with cutoff times. Jason's plan was to have Ryan (who joined us there) walk in front and Jesse to walk behind to illuminate the path and hopefully get me to walk faster. At this point, there was no running happening.

It was perhaps the longest 4 miles of my life as I hobbled through those woods but I eventually heard the music and saw the lights. I knew I was close and soon I could stop.

When we got to the top of the hill I knew it was only a few hundred yards to the finish. Somehow I managed to pick up my feet and run surrounded by Jason, Jesse & Ryan. I raised my hands above my head and cheered "Yeah!!!!!" and I ran into the finish!

Oh...my....god! I could finally stop! I was done with a whole 5 minutes to spare! I took almost the entire 16 hours and was dead fucking last! It felt awesome!!!!

I don't need to justify being last or even worrying about it. I actually thought it was pretty fucking cool!

I am very proud of myself for finishing and being able to get past that initial blow of going off course.

Up next is Javelina Jundred (100 miler).....time to wrap my head around that one!